Well, just as a miracle happened today, Stephen and I are still awaiting our miracle. No I'm not pregnant but it's not from lack of trying!! We have been going through so much, and we haven't been very forthcoming with what all we have been going through. You know we have been trying to conceive for about 4 years but we really got serious about it this past summer. I have been on fertility drugs since then. It has been very tough. I have been on so much medicine and it is really making me act in ways that are not like me. I have basically been on an emotional roller coaster since then. Poor Stephen, he has been so awesome about everything. Putting up with me has been unbearable. I have been earnestly trying to not let it get to me. But, yesterday I guess I hit rock bottom. I guess you put up with "stuff" for just so long and at some point, you have a breaking point. I think I was at my lowest point yesterday since all of this has begun. However, witnessing the miracle today has helped tremendously!!
I say all of that to say this. Yesterday, basically, my OB/GYN gave up on my case. She told me to find another doctor, a reproductive endocrinologist. At first I was hurt, but I truly feel the Lord is leading me to someone who can help me. So, I am back at square one, starting my new doctor Feb. 23rd. It is a blessing because I was having to drive to Lewisville (an hour from home) to go to the doctor, and I was having to go a bunch! Now, this new dr. is 10 minutes from work, and it is at a very good hospital, Presbytarian of Dallas. Also, as of yesterday, I will have a new OB/GYN!!!! She gave up on me, so I'm giving up on her!!! Hmm! :)
Please keep us in your prayers. It is very easy to get discouraged when you are going through infertility, but I have to stay focused on the fact that the Lord never lets us down, that we have these trials and tribulations that just make us stronger and MAKE us rely on him which is what He wants us to do anyway. It's all about faith. From the words of Ronnie Freeman, the song "Faith":
Faith is being sure of you Like I'm sure of the wind and I'm sure there's truth Being certain You are with me every step of the way Faith- believing when I can't see The air I breathe in front of me Knowing I'll be with You one day This is what it means to have faith.
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Sippi vonSipster
3 comments:
I'm so sad to hear what you have been going through, and grateful to know that you have find some peace in 'starting again'! :) It is so hard at times to have faith when a righteous desire is not being answered as fast as we would like. But, the Lord has a plan for each of us. He knows you, he knows your desire, and I'm sure he wept with you yesterday. I know it will be a joyous occassion when a little one comes into your home. And then you'll be sitting there with a toddler with a stinky diaper, and you won't even be able to remember when that little one was not a part of your life. :) It will come. :) But, until then it seems you are getting a lot of practice with nephews & neices & being a teacher. :)
Thanks for your sweet words Amber! I have good days and bad days. I am having to learn contentment as well, being content with what the Lord has already given me. I have tried to "hold it all in" for so long, and I can't do that anymore. So sometimes I just let loose, and I never know when that may happen. :)
We just love you guys so much! And truly hate that you are having such difficulties.
It's ok to get angry and its ok to cry. None of this is easy. Just know that you have people that love and support you. Hang in there!
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